Taylor Swift “All Too Good (10 Minute Version)”: A Therapist’s Response

It’s officially sad girl fall. And if the cold air, fall leaves, and checkered shirts haven’t already got you on your mind, don’t stress: Red (Taylor version) will get you there. And yes, that means some emotional preparation is probably in order, especially if you plan to listen to the 10 minute version of “All Too Well” on repeat like I did. Whether you’ve been a die-hard Swiftie since the album came out in 2012 (hi, ditto) or just recently got hooked on Swift with the release of Folklore, Red (Taylor version) promises to be a whirlwind of grief, and I can’t wait. Did I mention that sad girl fall is my favorite season?

Yet after three years of therapy, I know how important it is to take the necessary precautions before embracing complete and utter emotional devastation. (This is called growing!) So I asked my therapist what was the best way to prepare for the 10 minute version of “All Too Good”, and her answers are very helpful, and not just if you’re Jake Gyllenhaal.

1. Recognize that it is okay to be moved by a song about grief.

First of all, it’s okay to be emotional about music, especially when it comes to music from Taylor Swift and above all when it is Red album. In October 2020, Swift said Rolling stone that she considers Red his “real breakup album”. She explained: “Every other album has sparkles of different things. But it was an album that I wrote specifically about the pure, the absolute, the heart, the sorrow. (Say it with me: sad! Girl! Autumn!)

That said, poking fun at the idea of ​​a 10-minute version of “All Too Well” is pretty standard. According to Dr Jaime Zuckerman, a qualified clinical psychologist (and my very lucky therapist who did not judge me for asking these questions), “Music has always been a way of expressing feelings and thoughts that otherwise might be difficult to communicate, so it’s highly likely that a song about a difficult breakup could be told to many people ”.

She adds, “Regardless of our differences, it’s more likely than not that at some point in our lives we experienced a painful break-up with a former partner. And even if you haven’t had your heart broken straight away, hearing Swift sing about it might make you feel like you did.

Image: Courtesy of Republic Records.

2. Accept the emotional roller coaster.

“Anytime we experience what we consider to be an uncomfortable emotion, it’s totally normal not to want to feel it. ” Dr Zuckerman Explain. But that doesn’t mean you should avoid it – and it sure doesn’t mean you should skip the 10-minute version of “All Too Well” to keep the grief at bay. TBH, I think maybe this is sacrilege?

Instead of trying to dampen your emotional response to Swift’s song (which is a waste of time, to put it mildly, might actually derail the goal of listening to “All Too Well”), embrace the journey. . Zuckerman explains, “While ignoring or distracting yourself from this emotional pain may offer you temporary relief, it creates more emotions than we want in the long run. ”

During your evening of listening, a glass of white wine or two (with ice, just like Taylor likes it) might not hurt, but it’s important not to overdo it – yes, though. you remember Maggie Gyllenhaal probably still has Swift’s old scarf in a drawer somewhere. Instead, “acknowledge the feeling, sit down with the feeling, and let it go on its own,” suggests Zuckerman. In other words, try to stay present with your emotions. If that means a few stray tears are landing in your wineglass, so be it.

3. Try exposure therapy, the “All Too Good” version.

Before listening to the 10 minute uncut version (!) Or reading the handwritten lyrics (!!) or watching the short film (!!!), you might want to listen to the 5 minute version first and 38 seconds that you already know and love. (To make sure You Know Who doesn’t make any income from these plays, I’d keep the “All Too Good” exposure therapy limited to your old CDs and iPod Nano… or Taylor’s version, obviously.) Zuckerman explains. : “Slowly reintroducing the sad song over a period of time before the release of the second edition is a great way to get used to the negative emotions it can elicit.

She adds, “To expose yourself to sadness, start small and comfortably. Listen to it in a peaceful, calming or supportive setting. »BRB, I’m preparing my bubble bath and my candles now. By Zuckerman, it’s also a good idea to approach your “Too Good” induced grief in stages. “Start by reading the lyrics online, then listen to just the instrumental part or listen to it at an extremely low volume and gradually increasing. ”

OK, so I’m not sure if it’s physically possible to listen to “All Too Well” on anything other than full volume, but I’m ready to give it a try, as long as I can set it to the highest volume by the time. Swift sings, “Back before you lost the one real thing you’ve ever known.” At this point, I’m going to need something to drown out my singing voice.

Being emotional about music is completely normal, especially when it comes to Taylor Swift music.

4. Keep your triggers in mind and prepare accordingly.

If a heartbreak song sounds particularly triggering to you, there’s no pressure to listen to the 10-minute version of “All Too Well” right away. (No matter what anyone says, you really don’t have to be heartbroken to appreciate Red like an album.) But keep in mind that you can’t avoid all of your triggers forever. And if you’re on TikTok, I can almost guarantee this song is about to become a trending sound.

Remember, according to Dr. Zuckerman, when triggers start to “interfere with your daily life” (to me, staying out of TikTok would definitely qualify), it’s time to stop avoiding them. But if you’re reading this, there’s a good chance you’ve already decided that hearing the 10-minute version of “All Too Well” is worth the temporary heartbreak. So plan ahead and replenish your Kleenex stock accordingly.

I’m still not sure if it’s necessarily a ~ good idea ~ to tell your therapist that a 10-minute version of a song you already know has the potential to throw you off balance, but hopefully that won’t slow my progress too far. At the very least, I’m now fully equipped to deal with “All Too Well (10 Minute Version) (Taylor Version)” – and the emotional baggage it is sure to bring – without too many reservations. And, hey, if I end up sending an “All Too Good” inspired text to my ex on Friday, I can still cover it up at my next therapy session.

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