Father’s Day Gift for the Man Who Has Everything | News, Sports, Jobs


“Socks or underwear, maybe a nice tie.”

That’s the answer I got when I didn’t have all my adult teeth, when I asked, “Dad, what would you like for Father’s Day?”

I followed the answer to what I thought was my sneaky question and usually got my hero socks or underwear or maybe a nice clip-on tie.

I remember thinking, “What a shitty gift to want on his big day! Well he’s special and I don’t want to get him something he doesn’t like.

“I’m going to be like you, dad. You know I’m gonna be like you.

It took me years to realize why he wanted these things, and that what he really wanted, he already had: the woman of his dreams and a family.

Back then, I learned so many lessons through unconditional love and unspoken words.

Things like curfews: “Mom/Dad, everyone has to stay outside after midnight!” »

Events or places: “Mom/Dad everyone will be there!” Why can’t I go there?

And the things: “Why can’t we have this?”

Sound familiar?

Often I didn’t want to know what my parents thought was good for me. Time and time again I went stomping in frustration through my tweens and teens thinking, “You are so old-fashioned! »

“What I would really like, Dad, is to borrow the car keys. See you later, can I have them please? »

Answers. They don’t always come when you want them. Even if we think we have the answers, they can change or be selfishly misunderstood. Their significance may come years later.

I’m pretty sure I’m not the only dad to have had conversations with God during this time, “BC” – Before the children. I prayed fervently for a healthy pregnancy for my wife, a healthy delivery and a healthy child. I made promises with

God.

My kids know it doesn’t matter when Harry Chapin’s song “The cat is in the cradle” lights up, I stop and listen. It’s been my anti-song since my kids were born. I try not to be like the dad in the song. You may have recognized the italicized lyrics here.

The song’s narrator is a father who, after the birth of his son, is repeatedly unable to spend time with him due to work. Although his son looks at him and says he will grow up to be like his father. After years without power “find the time” the son indeed grows up to be exactly like the father.

In 1989 my girlfriend (now wife) and I went to the movies “Field of Dreams”. I remember thinking, “What a great baseball movie! » I love this movie and its iconic quote of Terrence Mann saying to Ray Kinsella, “The one constant over the years, Ray, has been baseball.”

Years later, on Father’s Day weekend, my 14 year old son and I drove to Dyersville to “to have a hold” to “25th Anniversary of the Field of Dreams Reunion.” Later that evening we watched the movie sitting on the grass in right field about “one bunt single” in front of Kevin Costner and his family.

We lived the

true meaning of this film. It’s a wonderful father and son/daughter inbreeding that contains baseball. Now I love this movie for a whole other reason.

Recently I read a non-fake Instagram post from “the greatest show on dirt.” The writer linked his love for baseball with memories of yesteryear and the impact of dad and grandfather on his life.

Nothing lasts eternally. And the good times are gone. But there is a beauty in these passing times. It allows us to really appreciate them, which I believe allows us to live more meaningfully today.

To think that I could be for someone else what my father and my grandfather were for me. I could one day be the old man who watches baseball with his grandkids. I could be the guy with the dirty old truck who works 12 hours a day and comes home and plays catch with his son and daughter. I would never know the joys of it if I hadn’t experienced it once and lost it.

I’m okay with nothing good that lasts forever. I’m okay with never watching a game with Grandpa again. And I agree never to play ball again with my father in the garden. Because I can see now and know that I can pass that same feeling on to someone else. Because it’s perfect and we need to share it.

“My son turned 10 the other day. He said, thanks for the ball, dad, let’s play.

It’s so simple. It was never about my parents on Father’s Day or Mother’s Day. Their happiness was their family.

I understand the lessons experienced and learned. Curfews put in place. Untracked Events. Things not bought. All because of the love that is not necessarily on time. The meaning came later.

There will come a day when I can no longer be there physically to be a dad. Many of you have lost your father, but I hope you have your father with you every day in lesson, example and spirit – even the times when you may have learned how “not” to parent. No one said they were perfect.

It turns out that I lived my life opposite the father that Harry Chapin talks about. I am lucky to have lived like my father. I have the woman of my dreams and three children.

Like my father, I wanted to be “Father,” and I want the best for my children. I don’t need to be the best dad in the world. I just need to be the best father for my children.

All their lives, my kids have known that I only wanted a homemade card for a Father’s Day gift. I still have them all. My Father’s Day gift never came on Father’s Day. It’s not a gift I can unwrap. I don’t want Hallmark saying so many words to me.

Instead, the gift came with each of my children’s births. Something the creator has blessed for Sandy and me. The prayers have been answered.

This Father’s Day, please count your blessings. Be grateful for all forms of father figures. Moreover, as a father, you are and are not yet. Whether or not they are here today, remember father figures in lesson, example, and spirit.

And kids, bring me a homemade card.

“But we will meet then. You know we’ll have a good time then.

Socks and underwear, I’ve got a dresser drawer full of them. Every time I look in there I realize I have a lifetime of memories for what they really mean. Thank you dad. Turns out it wasn’t a crappy gift after all.

Dean Brinkman is a chiropractor in Sleepy Eye who fills in Randy Krzmarzick’s “Weeds” column during

planting and harvesting season.



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